How do I sum up this past week? Well on the positive side, this week has marked what officially seems like the beginning of Spring weather and sunny days in London. To celebrate the lovely weather, Vic and I went out for a 3pm ice cream break to the ice cream cart around the corner. There were no jimmies (i.e. sprinkles), but it was such a delight to have a scoop of strawberry ice cream in a waffle cone (i.e. a sugar cone as it is called in the States). The sunny warm weather is also a sign that the days are thankfully getting longer. The sun no longer sets at at 5pm :-) London is such a different city when the sun is out. You very quickly forget the grey dark cold nights (and days) of the winter. It is not going to last long, so the importance is to enjoy the weather while we can.
So what else happened this week? Well let's just say that the floor below has just dropped, the wind has been knocked out of me. The following monologue from Grey's I think helps summarise it all "In surgery the healing process begins with a cut. An incision, the tearing of flesh. We have to damage the healthy flesh in order to expose the unhealthy. It feels cruel and against common sense, but it works. You risk exposure for the sake of healing. And when it is over, once the incision has been closed, you wait. You wait and you hope that your patient will heal...." I have been ripped open, exposed to the core and torn to pieces, but as Meredith says, now it is time to start the healing process. You hope that you will heal and that you in fact have not been made worse...
Let's see what else happened this week? Well I suppose another positive thing is that I have started training again. In this week, I have logged in nearly 90% of the miles that I ran in January (which was my max month to date). It is hard finding the motivation and courage to run, but this week's sessions have felt nice. I just need to take it easy and avoid pushing my HR too much. As much as I wanted to this week, I kept it easy. I pushed the training sessions in regards to training time and distance, but in terms of speed, I made sure that I stayed within the "easy to intermediate" HR zone.
Today, a bunch of the girls went to Kensingston Palace for high tea. This is the second time going for afternoon tea and I must say it is starting to grow on me. I am normally not a sweet and pastry fan, but there is nothing better than scones and clotted cream. Oh dear sweet luscious clotted cream.... it is SOO much better than butter and we all know how much I love my butter. The name is not inviting, in fact it probably hinders you from wanting to try it, but trust me...once you do you will thank me :-)
So what else happened this week? Well let's just say that the floor below has just dropped, the wind has been knocked out of me. The following monologue from Grey's I think helps summarise it all "In surgery the healing process begins with a cut. An incision, the tearing of flesh. We have to damage the healthy flesh in order to expose the unhealthy. It feels cruel and against common sense, but it works. You risk exposure for the sake of healing. And when it is over, once the incision has been closed, you wait. You wait and you hope that your patient will heal...." I have been ripped open, exposed to the core and torn to pieces, but as Meredith says, now it is time to start the healing process. You hope that you will heal and that you in fact have not been made worse... People say that things happen for a reason, that everything works out for the best. Right now, I wish I could see and believe that. I question it all. I question why we bother caring, why we let our guards down and why we try. I have been so naive when it comes to many things, people in particular. I want to believe them when they say they care, when they want a certain future, when they say things will get better. A part of me wishes I could put up a wall, draw my boundaries and walk away from all my relationships. May it be work or social, I wish I could just stop caring, but at the end of the day that is not just me. I suppose I wish I could just stop being me...
This week, came with some positives and some negatives, but it has ended with the realisation that there are something things worth caring and being thankful for and that is for good friends (and a Mom that you can call at 5:30am). Thank you girls! Love you dearly and thank you for keeping the sun smiling through the rain. xx
To everyone else, I hope you are enjoying your spring days outdoors. And for those of you in Boston, I wish you all a very early Patriots day! Let's go Sox and finish it strong marathoners!!
xoxo
T
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